Over the years, I’ve talked with many mothers who love and are concerned about their children. Some carry loads of guilt and some feel great about their place in life as Mom. Either way along the spectrum, moms often have regrets and wish they did some things differently as a parent, and they deeply love their children.

So kids, teens and adults alike, here are some things your Mother may not have told you: 

• Wow, was I young when I had you. I had no idea what it meant to be completely responsible for someone else. What a learning experience!
• I’m still a child at heart. The kid in us never dies, so I can have fun and be goofy too.
• I feel guilty about “mistakes” I make. I don’t know if I am being a good enough Mom, no matter how good you think I am. Because of this, I have plenty of “Mom Guilt”. I didn’t get a manual for this when you came into this world, and I struggle with my own personal issues too.
• When you are not happy with me and you feel I am against you, it’s because I am frustrated and overwhelmed.
• Or – when you are not happy with me and you feel I’m against you, it’s because I am doing this for you, despite knowing that you will be upset with me. I want you to have a great life and don’t want you to learn everything the hard way.
• Things that are difficult or traumatic for me in my life may happen. At those times, I may not be able to be there for you like you are used to. But I’m always your Mom. Please be patient, I’ll do what I can to find my way back on track.
• Some of your jokes are cheesy, but I’ll indulge you. Practical jokes, however, frazzle me. I’m always juggling and trying to keep things under control. Parenting, albeit glorious, can be stressful in itself.
• Even though I may show some calm, the thought of you being seriously hurt, injured, sick, etc. freaks me out and puts me on automatic alert. Again, no joking about it.
• No matter what, I love you unconditionally. I was blessed to have you, whether you were “planned” to arrive for a certain time or not.  
• I have always been and will always be your Mother. No one else will take that place.
• I’m one of your greatest allies, and your relationship with me can greatly influence your relationships as an adult. So, even if it feels scary or awkward, communicate with me about your thoughts and feelings. Help me understand.
• Be careful who you trust with insight and help. Your friends can come and go, and aren’t as experienced in life as I am.
• When you were a baby, your needs became clear to me. The older you get, the more unique your needs get, and the more individualized you are. You are always changing. Please make sure to tell me what you need or want so I can help.
• Be grateful that you have a parent to confide in, to embarrass you, to get exasperated with. Some of us don’t have our parents anymore.  
• There are other kids in the family, but I still have a special and unique connection to you. Look for it and you will clearly see it.
•  Sometimes I just watch you in a way that seems absent-minded. I don’t always think of saying that I am amazed at, in awe of and am extremely proud of you in so many ways.
•  If I am critical of you, it may be because I’m talking about myself.
•  There’s no way for you to completely understand how it is to be a Mom until the tables turn, and then I get to be an indulging, benevolent grandmother to your little dears.