It’s been a rough year for many people and their loved ones, yet we see these same people, resilient and resourceful, rallying to get excited about the New Year.
Resolutions, we all have made them, promises and plans for ourselves and our lives to make things better with the new year. Our resolutions usually fall into one of two categories focusing one either embracing a new life style or kicking a habit.
For many years now, I’ve been fortunate enough to be an “agent of change” for the people I work with and I’d like to share with you four steps that I have found help most with achieving lasting change.
1. Forgive and accept
Give yourself the best chance out of the gate and allow yourself to start with a clean slate. This will mean something different to each person, but start by realizing and owning fully that you are a glorious human being. By nature, we make what is called (for lack of a better word) “mistakes”.
Be aware of how you’ve learned from those mistakes and relapses and how now you are wiser. Use this awareness to be more resolved to make this desired change work. Be very clear that you fully accept these changes that you are about to make and maintain.
2. Determine specifics, setting boundaries
Be very specific with your desired resolution of change. Know when you will start, exactly what you want to accomplish, and what the resolution does and doesn’t entail. This is a strong strategy for the people that are better at self governing. For others who work best with hard line guidance, having someone to hold you accountable on the specifics works best.
Be clear on the whole plan and understand the need to put adjusstments in place to make sure past blocks don’t get in the way. It’s better to come up with adjustments for change and include it in your plan, before you start, than just tell yourself you want to make it happen.
For example, someone who wants to be a non-smoker usually wants to quit with as little stress as possible. So instead of taking away the first cigarette of the day, how about starting a new ritual upon awakening, such as exercise, deep breathing techniques or a brisk walk with your dog? Then you come up with an alternative action or habit for the other times of the day that you used to smoke regularly.
3. Keep going, have your eye on the prize
Make sure your plan includes daily affirmations and reinforcement. Journal, write affirmations to keep on the wall and/or talk to yourself and have others encourage you repeatedly about your anticipated outcome – the one you are manifesting. No matter what, you absolutely can do this, you can make this permanent.
Sometimes you have to make some serious adjustments to your support network. Keep repeating positive statements over and over or keep reminding yourself what you’ve already decided is yours. Make sure that something getting in the way is NOT AN OPTION. Accept that change as yours. Either way, everything people do is to gain pleasure or avoid pain, so make sure there is great pleasure associated with your resolution and goal.
4. Get the power of your mind on board!
Your unconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between strong visualization and reality. So your mind actually takes what you visualize and works to make it your reality. Imagine a vision of yourself with the change you want. See yourself enjoying the change, being satisfied, feeling accomplished and living happily with the change.
Visualize holding yourself better, breathing and moving easier, and notice that confidence and joy. Take the whole scene in, make it vivid and clear.
Now, make the visualization a natural part of your process and change can come faster and easier!
